The Most Boring Man in the World

Now I don’t know if you have heard of David, but in many ways David is similar to me and you. He is just a normal guy, doing normal things, in all the normal places. There is however one thing that really makes David stand out from the crowd. David has been given a title and it isn’t the normal Mr or Sir that you may be expecting. David has been given the title of the most boring man in the world.

I bet you’re wondering just how you would go about gaining the title that nobody wants of “officially the most boring human being who currently lives on the planet”, and I also bet you have a friend or two who you would like to put forward for the title next time it comes up for judgement. Well, let me tell you just how David got his new title. It was due to a culmination of all of the smaller things in life. Whilst he enjoyed a trip to the pub as much as the next guy, David did a lot of odd things in his spare time. The first example is probably the most prominent and will begin to give you an idea of just how it all came about. Everybody has their favourite websites noted in a special place on their computers. It may be a site which enables you to keep up with the latest sport or maybe on which lets you chat to all of your friends. Well, let me tell you what David’s was. David’s favourite site and the only one that was bookmarked was There is nothing wrong with the website as it is a very well put together series of web pages. However, when you spend as much time looking at toaster ovens as David does then people begin to ask questions.

This was only the start of the list of things which earned David his new title and the list is a large one indeed. Let’s take a look at some more examples. David’s favourite colour is not only beige, but the beige which is in the middle of the colour scale on a paint chart. He enjoys measuring the grass in his garden to check that the length is exactly 1.7 inches. Whenever David does some DIY he even sits and watches the paint drying to ensure that the coat is as smooth as it can possibly be. When you combine all of these elements you get someone who is not exactly fun to talk to at parties.

You may be wondering now just where this story about poor, boring David is going and the answer is quite an obvious one. This is a story of what not to do in life. If you want to make the most out of the few short years we all have on this planet then you need to start doing that now and not be like David in any way shape or form. If you want to do something then get out there and go and do it. Things don’t wait for you to find them, you have to go and hunt them down. There is nothing wrong with having beige as a favourite colour, but if that is the case then go and find some beige in a different country, at the top of a mountain or at the bottom of the ocean. If you love something you will be able to find it everywhere.

Give or take a few years, the average person has the same amount of time to make an impact on the world, and if you have the mentality of a David then you will never do this. You need to go and grab things by the horns. If you want to go skiing then find a way to do it. If animal conservation is your passion then hop on a plane over to Borneo and help save some Orangutans. Even if you simply want to start small and go for a run to get in shape then get up off the couch and do it. You’re the only one who can make a difference to your own life. Don’t be like David.

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